


your eyes look like coming home

by maraudering



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-20
Updated: 2012-12-20
Packaged: 2017-11-21 16:37:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/599867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maraudering/pseuds/maraudering
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Don’t try and lie to me, River.  You’ve been avoiding me the whole night.  You wouldn’t even correct me when I was flying the TARDIS.  You always do that, no matter what.”  His eyes slid to hers.  “First visit since Berlin, I’m guessing.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	your eyes look like coming home

**Author's Note:**

> This is my take on the first time River sees the Doctor again after Berlin.  
> Title from Everything Has Changed by Taylor Swift.

“I thought I would find you out here.”

River tore her eyes away from the stars bouncing off each other across the sky to watch the Doctor. He leant against the doorway of the secluded balcony she had claimed for her own. She glanced away when he smiled at her, back to the colours spinning overhead.

“Your parents are looking for you.”

Still no response.

“It was their idea to take you out for your birthday. You probably thought that meant a pub in Leadworth with definitely no Doctor and no TARDIS and no trips across the universe.”

She looked back at him as he moved to lean against the railing beside her. His eyes traced over the exploding sky, colours bleeding though the black in intricate patterns. “I thought you’d like it here.”

“I do,” she whispered.

The Doctor smiled slightly. “So it’s me that’s making you upset.” He sighed. “I thought so.”

“Doctor . . .”

“Don’t try and lie to me, River. You’ve been avoiding me the whole night. You wouldn’t even correct me when I was flying the TARDIS. You always do that, no matter what.” His eyes slid to hers. “First visit since Berlin, I’m guessing.”

River nodded hesitantly.

“How long?”

“Eight months.”

He swiped a hand over his face. “Blimey. Sorry, that must have been hard for you.”

“I kept busy. I enrolled in university, but I suppose you know that.”

The Doctor nodded. “Archaeology. There are better career paths out there, but whatever tickles your fancy.”

“I had to find you somehow. You don’t exactly stay out of the history books.”

He chuckled. “I’m particularly awful at staying out of the history books, I’ll admit.”

She laughed with him for a moment before falling into silence. Eyes dropping to the light dancing across her fingers, River tried to summon the courage to open her mouth. The Doctor watched her patiently, waiting for the words to spill from her mouth.

“I was a bit glad you didn’t come,” she confessed quietly. Her eyes remained locked on her trembling hands, unable to face the man in front of her. “Not because of you, exactly. I just don’t know if I’m the River Song you- you love yet. I didn’t want to disappoint you.”

“You don’t have to try and become something you’re not, dear. You’re the woman I love right now, like you have been all this time. You don’t have to change yourself for me.”  
“But you know the older me. You fell in love with an older version of me. Don’t you want me to be her?”

The Doctor took her face in his hands, thumbs stroking reverently over her cheekbones. “You are her, River. Of course your older self is going to be different from the woman you are now. You will have seen so much more, experienced so much more. It will change you, and I want to be along for the ride. I want to see all the moments that shape you into the brilliant woman waiting in the future. Already I can see her in you. You’re brave, resilient, determined. You’d have to be, to fight off all that conditioning from the Silence. And you are bloody gorgeous. I love _you_ , River. Right here, right now.”

“Really?”

“Of course. Why would I lie to you?”

“Rule one.”

He frowned. “That really is a stupid rule. I don’t know why I ever made it.”

“Probably because you lie an awful lot.”

“Not about this, River,” he sighed, lowering his forehead to hers. “Never about this. I promise.”

“I’m scared,” she murmured, her hands curling over his long fingers to stop him from pulling away.

“Understandable, after what you’ve been through. You have every right to be scared.”

“I don’t think I know how to love. Not after being spoon fed hate since the Silence got their hands on me. Even when I grew up with Amy and Rory, it was just a strategic manoeuvre, to get close to you. The Silence didn’t let any real attachment form.”

“It’s easy. Don’t you worry. I can teach you.”

River smiled up at him. “I’d like that.”

The Doctor pulled her into his arms. Face pressed against his shoulder, fingers linking under the back of his jacket, she sighed contentedly. His nose nuzzled against the edge of her ear, one hand sinking into the mass of her curls, the other sliding to the small of her back, holding them together.

“I could get used to this,” she mumbled into the tweed.

His laughter vibrated through both of them. “Good, because I already have.”

They stayed like that, wrapped up in each other, until a Scottish accent broke the peace.

“There you two are!” Amy exclaimed. “We’ve been looking . . .”

River stepped away from the Doctor abruptly. He bit back a groan, wishing he’d never brought Amy along. Even though it was her idea.

“Sorry,” she continued. “But they just started playing music downstairs and I know you like dancing, Doctor. I have absolutely no idea why I’m telling you, though. You’re terrible. I hope people don’t see us leaving together.”

“Shut up, Pond,” he shot back. She flashed him a smile before disappearing down the hallway.

He turned back to River and held out his hand. “Will you dance with me?”

A smile broke out across her face before she could stop it. “I’d love to.”

In the end, he danced, and River stood with her parents and laughed until she thought she was going to sprain a rib. He only winked at her as he slid back into the press of bodies in front of him.

When the frantic beats were finally replaced with a slower ballad, the Doctor emerged from the crowd, breathless and eyes twinkling.

“You promised you’d dance, River,” he reminded her. “Come on.”

Without hesitation, she took his offered hand and let him pull her into the centre of the room. His arm curled around her waist as they began to sway. She let her fingers drift across the back of his neck.

“Thank you,” she said simply.

“For what, dear?”

“For just being your ridiculous self. I don’t think I’ve ever laughed that hard in my life.”

He offered a smile in response and pulled her a little closer. Over his shoulder, River could see Rory and Amy watching them with identical grins on their faces.

“Happy birthday,” the Doctor said, bringing her attention back to him. “Even though you didn’t really want me here.”

“Sweetie, you were the best part.”

The Doctor pressed his face into her hair. “I love you.”

She pulled away from him slightly, just enough to give her room to rise onto her toes and press her lips lightly to his. It was soft and sweet and long and it drowned out any of River’s doubts and fears. She knew she was safe with him. The Doctor. Her Doctor.


End file.
